RUSSIAN WOMEN Q&A:
Why Russian Women Marry American Men
by Elena Petrova (RussiaUkraina.Dating)
In my early days on the Internet (way back in the last century - I started writing about Russian women seeking western men in 1999) these questions, "Why Russian women want to marry American men?" or "Why Russian women want western men?" used to pop up often.
The simple answer to these questions is demographics: there is more than 10% difference between the number of women and men in Russia, women outnumber men, so statistically some women have absolutely zero chance to find a partner.
Socially, it doesn't work this way; it only means that Russian men can easily have more than one partner. In many cases Russian men have a "second family" on the side, often with children, and the wife may even know about "the other woman" and do nothing about it. Mostly because she doesn't want to rock the boat and hopes he will simply "get it out of his system" and also she doesn't want to be left alone to raise her own kids and wants them to have a father. Russian culture dictates to the woman that she can only be happy when she has a husband and a family, that's another reason.
A divorced Russian woman with children has little to no chance to find another husband in Russia; again, due to demographic disproportions and most good men being already married.
Still, the vast majority of Russian women would not consider looking for an American man or a western man, even though they struggle to meet someone! It's a very low percentage of Russian women (less than 0.1%) that are brave enough to broaden their horizons and look elsewhere (which doesn't mean she will find a western man to marry, most won't, it's just 0.1% give it a try). Often this happens because they know a Russian woman who married a western man and is happy in her marriage.
Personally, I could not find a good Russian man in Russia to marry, I really wanted to get married and have kids and family and at 29 I felt the clock ticking, and this is why I decided to give it a try and look for a potential marriage partner abroad. I did it because one of my Russian girlfriends had a friend who was dating western men: she met some of the guys in real life and some stories were going rounds, so I knew it was not totally impossible and decided to give it a try, to see what happens.
I placed my profile at a dating agency and voila, I started getting tons of mail from very attractive, interesting western men and American men! This was amazing because I tried dating through Russian personals in Russia and all the Russian men I met were either totally unsuitable or already married and looking for some fun on the side. I made several serial attempts to meet men through Russian personals; I say "serial" because after a few disastrous dates I just felt I could do it no more... only to come back to personals a few months later (with the same disastrous results). So, it's not that I didn't want to marry a Russian man or didn't try hard enough to find a Russian man to marry; I am a very industrious person and I always put 100% effort into everything; I guess it just wasn't meant to be; sometimes I think it was my destiny to move to the west and start a dating agency helping people to find love across the globe (and sometimes I think I was just lucky and God was looking after me), all in all, I have no regrets about not finding a Russian man to marry - western men make much better husbands and partners!
Yes, really. Russian men are spoiled and expect a woman to wait on them and cater for them, no matter what, and the whole Russian culture is very male-dominated. Not only infidelity is rampant (see above) but also alchohol abuse is men's national pastime. The wife is expected to sit at home and do everything, and the man can do what he wants, have a girlfriend, have a drink with friends, and the wife is at home looking after kids, cooking, cleaning etc. This doesn't sound like much fun at all.
To me, western men are much more loyal, faithful and devoted to the marriage as compared to Russian men; western men are more respectful to their wives, take a greater interest in their children, and certainly have much less problems with alchohol abuse. I see it in my family and families of my friends and all the people I know. There are always marginal cases but all in all, it holds true: a western man is a better partner in a marriage than a Russian man. (It's really not about the difference in life standards; Russia is not a poor country; Moscow has more billionares than New York!)
This is why I do what I do; I truly believe Russian women are better off meeting a good western man for marriage (and I also believe that if enough Russian women leave, it may change the social dynamics in Russia, so that men start caring more). So, if you ask me, any day, any time, YES, western men make better partners.
Even then, a Russian woman would prefer to find a good Russian man at home, but due to all the reasons above, it's not very likely. So, some Russian women who have heard about the possiblity to meet a western man or American man for marriage, decide to give it a try and this is the point where they place their profile at my agency RussiaUkraina.Dating.
And this is where they meet western men who are like you curious about Russian wives or fascinated by their beauty, and then it all depends whether she meets a nice western man or have some weirdo sending her his nude pictures, or if she gets hooked on all the attention from western men and starts raising her requirements (because all you guys tell her she is SO beautiful). 80% of women who place their profile on the site this week will not be here in 2 months: they will delete their profiles. Why?
Some women will meet someone they like and it may result in a marriage; not too many will be so lucky because most nice western men and American men simply look at the photos, or maybe even upload a profile but never actually start talking to women or meet them in person (are YOU a full member?)
Still, a woman can meet someone and delete her profile in less than 2 weeks; we see many examples; this can even happen within a few days! (Think of that: you send her an email the day her profile is approved (you can search for new profiles in Advanced Search by date of publication), you exchange a couple of emails through the site and get on Skype the next day; you chat on Skype for an hour for a few days and decide you like each other enough to meet! Takes 3-4 days, tops.)
Some women who were not so lucky to have a nice guy email them the day they joined, may decide it doesn't work for them (especially if some weirdo sends them his nude pics, I don't know why some men do it - it's a total put off!) and these Russian women will close their profiles on our site and may decide that looking for a western man for marriage is not for them (just like I did with Russian personals after a few unfortunate experiences).
And about 20% of women will persist and continue seeking the right partner for them. But they are not adamant about meeting a western man only; they are dating American men who they think may be right for them just as they will date a local man if they think he may be the one (although you know chances of finding such a guy in Russia aren't that great). Some of the Russian women you see online today will probably meet someone at home and marry a Russian man, especially younger women without children.
It's all about finding the right partner and also about who makes the first move. It's amazing how quickly the feelings may develop; we do have men emailing us and asking what happened with this woman, she was my favorite on the site, and I see in her listing she deleted her profile because she already met someone. As I said above, it can take just a few days!
So, the answer to the question "Why Russian women want western men?" is that Russian women simply want a good man, and most Russian women don't mind if he is Russian, American, Australian, English, Italian, Swedish, Dutch or French, as long as he is a good person and can make a good husband and partner.
The world is huge and there is plenty of fish in the sea - and even more in the ocean! You don't have to limit your search for a partner by your home town or even your home country - you can find the right person somewhere else! And so can Russian women who are open to meeting western men.
With all my best wishes,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Petrova is the founder of RussiaUkraine.Dating and Russian Brides Cyber Guide (www.womenrussia.com). She has a degree in philosophy and a tongue-in-cheek view on the subject of international marriages. Her agency RussiaUkraina.Dating has clients in 176 countries and is bringing genuine love-seekers together since 1999.
MORE RUSSIAN WOMEN Q&A:
Russian Woman and Western Man: "We are a wonderful love story!"
Hi Elena !!!! We will never thank enough God and your agency which gave us the chance to make our dearest dream come true... After one week's correspondence, I decided to fly to Ukraine, listening to my heart, and I can say now the trip changed my life forever.... I spent all February in Ukraine with the sweetest and loveliest lady I never met before... it was like a fairy tale and a very romantic Valentine's day under the stars of Red sea. All my hopes and dreams became at last a reality. With Inna I felt real connection of our souls - it was love at first sight... We got married on July, 11 in Dneprodzerzhinsk - we are a wonderful love story in spite of cultural and language barriers !!!!
Many thanks again from the bottom of my heart ;)))
Patrick and Inna
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