TOP 10 Russian Women Dating Tips
by Elena Petrova (RussiaUkraina.Dating)
Men seeking Russian and Eastern European women and girls for marriage (commonly known as Russian Brides) often ask for dating tips and advice on how to make your relationship successful.
Since I have been working in the international dating industry for more than 10 years (since 1999), I can tell you all men who were successful in dating Russian women and married a woman of their dreams, were doing certain things right, and here is the list of top 10 dating tips for meeting and courting Russian women.
Tip #1: Have an open mind
If you wish to date women from Russia and/or Eastern Europe, you are obviously going outside of your usual scheme of things. Things ARE different in Russia, Ukraine and Eastern Europe and you need to keep an open mind - some things will seem strange, some things women say may not make sense. (For example, divorce in Russia takes just 1 month, or a doctors degree takes only 6 years and by the age of 23 she can be a doctor after graduating from high school at 17! See Russian women doctors here)
Tip #2: It is for real
Some men feel, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is" and get scared and as the result, don't get anything! It is for real that you can meet a very beautiful woman from Russia or Ukraine who will like you for you and that you can get married and live happily ever after - read hundreds of success stories of men who did. Remember, "If it seems too good to be true, it can be true!"
Tip #3: Know what you want
This probably should have been #1 tip, because you need to know what you want if you want to have any chance of getting it. Makes sense? If you came to a travel agency and told them, "I want to travel..." they would have to ask you many more questions before they could book your trip.
You need to know exactly what you want or you will not get it. Whilst you can keep an open mind (Tip #1) about what is possible and what is not, I can tell you for sure it is possible to meet a woman 30 years younger than you and get married, but it is highly improbable this will last (although possible). The odds are against you if your age difference is over 15 years. Keep it realistic.
As a general rule, the more is the age difference, the less is the chance it will last forever. Education, life goals and values all play a role and the more you have in common, the better is the relationship and the longer it will last.
Tip #4: Move your contact from virtual to real world as soon as possible
Once you know what you want, start writing to women (on RussiaUkraina.Dating, you can first send an Expression of Interest before sending a personal letter). After exchanging a few letters though the website, ask her for her direct contact details (see also Tip #9 when to ask for contact details).
Nothing can replace talking face-to-face online via Skype or any other video messaging program. Phone conversations are great, too - you can talk anywhere and not only at your computer. See each other in person over a webcam at least a dozen times before you even consider traveling to meet each other (unless you are in the same city/state - many Russian women live in the USA and other western countries - in which case you should travel to meet each other as soon as you can). Video chat and phone give you the voice with all the intonations and (when on cam) facial expressions, you cannot replace it.
Tip #5: Get direct contact
You should be able to talk to the woman directly without any interruptions.
All Russian women study English or another foreign language (French, German, Spanish etc) at school for at least 5 years (and further 3 years at college/university), so all Russian women know the basics of grammar and can read and write in English. There are also tons of free online translators available and anyone can translate text into dozens of languages absolutely free.
You need at least: her direct email address, phone number (mobile and land line), Skype name, and postal address. She may not share all of these at once but after 10-15 mails (which only takes a couple of weeks with daily contact), if she still talks to you, she will give it to you if you ask ("so that we do not lose contact if anything happens"). Once you have these details, you have your FREE direct contact and you can indeed establish a good relationship. (See also Tip #9 how to ask for contact details)
RussiaUkraina.Dating allows exchange of direct contact details.
Tip #6: Get rid of time wasters
Anyone who is not willing to talk on phone or Skype for at least 20-30 minutes after exchanging several emails is a time waster and you should treat them as such. We all are happy to spend a lot of time on the things we really like, and if she likes you, she will be spending her time on you - even if she has to sleep less! (Read this story) All Russian women and women in Eastern Europe have a land line phone at home or a mobile phone, can use Internet and can get access to Internet if not at home, then they can get access at an Internet cafe or a friend's place. Really.
Tip #7. Quality of your communication will determine the quality of your relationship
All people I know who were successful in meeting Russian women online and started a real relationship, were spending lots of time together talking on Skype, chatting via online messengers and SMS, talking on the phone etc.
It is a real pattern here and people keep telling us, "I knew I found the right person" the first time they contacted each other, like something told them this was "the one". You can believe that "marriages are made in heaven" or not, but it is the mutual feeling of both people that makes it happen. Once you have this feeling "this is The One", it is easy to concentrate on this relationship and emotionally disconnect from others; whilst people still continue communicate with other people, they usually have ONE person they like the most at any given time ("The One"). It is also easy for the other people to feel you are treating them as your "one and only" and that you are serious and sincere (and vice versa, they can feel it if you are just stringing them along). There is nothing wrong with direct questions and if you want to know something, just ask (except any questions about scams, see Tip #8). Be real and ask her to be real in return; this is what all people want: someone who is real with them and doesn't try to be someone they are not.
Tip #8: Do not be paranoid about scams and scammers
I know I have written a lot on the subject of dating scams and scammers, and you probably have heard a lot about it, but the truth is scammers are really easy to spot and combat (see Tip #6), and you will always know if your contact is for real or not, just use your gut feeling. I can tell you no one can afford to spend 2-3 hours a day on you if they intend to scam you; so the quality of your communication is paramount (see Tip #7). It is a HUGE turn-off for Russian women is you talk about scams, in your profile or in your letters; we often read things like this in men's profiles: "Scammers and time wasters stay away" - this will push all real women away but not scammers!
Real Russian women are sick and tired of men suspecting them to be scammers (because "it's too good to be true", see Tip #2) or trying to be clever and asking for some "proof": "Get a today's newspaper and make a photo of yourself with the newspaper and a white carton board with words,
Quality communication (Tip #7) is the real test and you don't need to worry about scammers. Just concentrate on being real and making your dreams come true.
(Find out more about RussiaUkraina.Dating scam protection.)
Tip #9: Take the lead
Russian women are looking for "real men"; if you read women's profiles, you will notice it time and again, they want a "real man". By a "real man" they mean a man who takes the lead and knows what he wants, and how to get it. (If you do not know how to get what you want, you need to research and read more information on the subject; on the subject of Russian women, I wrote a book that is long and detailed and will be a great help.)
In short, she wants you to move this relationship forward, make suggestions about exchanging of contact information (email addresses, phone numbers etc), calling her on the phone, asking questions about her, organizing your personal meeting (visiting her at her home town, her visiting you or meeting elsewhere) - you are the Leader, and she is the follower. This is what she wants. Give it to her and it will be easy for you to build a good relationship.
Don't move too fast or too slow; ask for her direct email after 2-3 mail exchanges on the site, ask for her phone number after exchanging 2-3 emails off the site, ask for her postal address after 2-3 weeks (and send her something special, maybe a small gift), ask her to meet in person after 2-3 weeks of talking on Skype and phone daily. It is really simple and there is not much to it; think what you want, make a plan and go get it.
Tip #10: You need to do it to get it
One of our clients summarized it the best:
"Be honest, generous, never lazy or stingy, and do it!! If you remain seated in your chair and do not travel, you will never get anything. If you want it, do it!"
You don't want to be one of these men who keep browsing and never sign up. These men keep looking and comparing different services for months or years and waste precious time when they could have already found someone special and be happy! (Lots of laughter, kisses and hugs, watching TV together side-by-side on the sofa, coffee in bed and many other things that come for free with a great relationship.)
If you don't do anything, you will be tomorrow exactly at the same place where you are today, online browsing photos of women and without one waiting for you at home.
There is NEVER a "perfect" time to do anything; but there is a good time and the good time is usually sooner rather than later; if you are here today (and have read this article to this point), it is probably time to jump off the fence and start making it happen for you. No one else will.
With all my best wishes,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Petrova is the founder of RussiaUkraine.Dating and Russian Brides Cyber Guide (www.womenrussia.com). She is a former 'Russian mail order bride' with a degree in philosophy and a tongue-in-cheek view on the subject of international marriages. Her agency RussiaUkraina.Dating has clients in 176 countries and is bringing genuine love-seekers together since 1999.
MORE RUSSIAN WOMEN Q&A:
Matty's dating tip: "My goals became real the moment I signed up to Russia Ukraine Dating!"
Hello Elena, my name is Matteo and I am 30 years old. My wife of 24 and I want to thank you for your wonderful site.
I decided to use RussiaUkraine.Dating out of frustration in dealing with free dating sites. I subscribed to your website in May of 2009 to look for a Russian lady to share my dreams, wishes and heart with.
My goals became real the moment I signed up to Russia Ukraine Dating. Both Elya and I feel very fortunate to have joined your site. Going online to search for my one and only wasn't an easy challenge, but I can say it was the best decision of my life. What helped was perseverance and self-reflection to discover the type of person that I was and then to realize the type of person that I not only needed in my life, but wanted to be along my side. I think taking the time to know that person as well as arranging to meet within a few months will help the relationship to develop normally. If you’re serious about your intentions and are ready to put in the time then you WILL find your soul mate regardless of how you initially meet.
Thanx Elena for providing a unique opportunity and thank you Elya for making my life complete. I am full of happiness.
Matty (USA/Canada) and Elly (Russia)
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