GOOD RUSSIAN GIRLS - HOW TO SPOT ONE
by Elena Petrova (RussiaUkraina.Dating)
I have been asked many times since I first created the now famous (or infamous?) Black List, how to separate good Russian girls from bad ones.
Naturally, being a man looking for a partner, you would want to meet a good Russian girl and avoid bad ones - and since you are here on RussiaUkraina.Dating, you are our client and we want you to find a good Russian girl (or woman), fall in love with her and send us your wedding photos - don't make a mistake, this is what we are working for, happy couples and glorious testimonials and word of mouth referrals, so that we can continue helping single people to meet in this big world!
So, please realize we are on your side - we want you to meet someone good and special to you.
The problem here is, in life not all people you meet will be good; it's just a fact of life. Some people you know and who live close to you may not be good people or they may be good people but they are not good to you. Some girls you meet when dating may be the same.
One of the catch phrases I get often is, "These women are just like American women!" - I do not know what this is supposed to mean; I am sure there are many good American women out there, it's just most of them are probably married or unavailable and this is why you are looking to broaden your search and maybe meet someone suitable in Russia or Ukraine.
But there is a grain of truth here: the world has became a much smaller place! We all watch the same movies and sitcoms, listen to the same music, and while you probably do not know Russian music and movies, they surely know yours! Fashion, hamburgers and Google are the same in Russia and the United States.
Back to the subject of good Russian girls: they are in high demand, just like good men are :-) When you join the site, there is plenty of competition for both.
Whilst it's not "the quick or the dead", it surely holds some truth to it; most of our successful couples met each other pretty quickly once they joined the site. Is it luck or is it because they were both GOOD - and also good for each other?
I'll leave this one for you to think about in your spare time: to meet the right partner you must be the right partner. (I will come back to this at the end of this article.)
Now, let's move to the main subject of this article: how to spot a good Russian girl on this site.
I must make an emphasis here: I am only talking about RussiaUkraina.Dating because I know exactly how the site operates. I cannot talk for other Russian dating sites because they all work differently and on most of them, women have little or no control over what happens; they are totally under control of the agency; they cannot talk to you directly or share their mobile number or personal email or Skype and you only talk through the agency.
On RussiaUkraina.Dating, control is in your hands. It is only you and the women you are talking to who decide what you want to do. You write to each other directly without any mediators - translators or else, you can talk on the phone and Skype, exchange direct email addresses, decide how you meet and do whatever you want (as long as you are both consenting adults over 18 and it's not illegal!)
I am saying that because with the power comes responsibility. Since you are in control, it's up to you to pick good girls that are right for you. We are doing our best to ensure all our listings are legitimate and the women are real but we cannot get into people's heads: we cannot predict how they are going to behave in a relationship with you.
You are in control and you have 50% input into what happens in your relationship. Without your contribution, nothing - good or bad - can happen!
My short definition of "good" and "bad" girl is this: a good Russian girl is the one who wants you for you, and the bad Russian girl is the one who wants you for what she can get from you.
There is nothing more to that.
And the truth is, a girl who is good to you may not have been good to all men in her life; sometimes we all are in a relationship (romantic, friendship, family, work or else) just for what we can get from it.
Think about it, not all people are madly in love with their work - or the company they are working for - many are there just for money. Not all people love all of their family members - some are there just to keep peace of get benefits (you may think of some people like this). It's inevitable that where there is a relationship, some people will be in it for the sake of benefits and not for the sake of the relationship. Benefits can be financial, lifestyle, sexual, all types of benefits we get in life from being a part of something.
So, it's pretty normal when you are dating that there may be some women that just want to get benefits from you - you probably have come across things like this in your life before. It's just about not letting people take advantage of you - whether it's work, family or personal relationships.
For example, one pattern we hear often about is where a woman invites many men to visit her and then offers them to arrange their accommodation, transportation and translation and then she receives commission from the service providers.
This is why we created "Communication Safety Tips" and you have to tick the box you are aware of these every time you start communication with a new member (we have a similar set of tips for women as well), however, some men still don't follow those tips and then complain the woman they visited wasn't very interested but seemed to have been receiving commissions from service providers.
Well, we won't say "We told you so!" but to make it simpler, here are some tell-tale signs that a woman is sincerely interested in you (as opposed to someone who is there for a potential benefit only).
GOOD RUSSIAN GIRLS TELL-TALE SIGNS:
Warning signs this may NOT be a good girl:
These signs are not cut in stone; always look for a pattern of behavior and not just an isolated sign. If there are a few warning signs, be honest, straightforward and direct; ask her what she thinks of you and how she feels; see if her words and her actions match. For example, she says she is very interested but she never has time for you? Actions don't match the words or there has to be a reason, why. For Russian and Ukrainian women family is their FIRST PRIORITY before their career; do you feel like finding the right man and making a meaningful connection is a priority for her? If she is after you just for you, you will feel it.
The best barometer of your relationship is your gut feeling: you don't need any proof when you KNOW it's real. If you have a nagging feeling that something's not right, then listen to your gut feeling.
I am sure you are not going to send money to a set of fake photos and letters; so, don't let yourself to be fooled by "apartment renters". If you are not prepared to put an effort in your relationship and talk deeply and closely to at least 3-4 women before you go and visit one or more of them, then you'd better don't get started.
It is REAL. The women are REAL. You need to build a REAL RELATIONSHIP and it needs work - but the result is worth it!
Read again our Success Stories - some people wrote quite detailed accounts of how they started and built their relationships; it is for real but you must do your part, too - and one thing here is to pick good girls that want you for you and not just go with the flow with the ones that want you to take them to a dinner - and you are flying half way around the world for that!
We don't want you to do it and we don't want any chancers treat our site as feeding grounds; so, please, do your part and don't feed them!
I hope this gives you a better idea how to meet a good Russian girl that is right for you on our site.
P.S. And about meeting the right partner, I am releasing a new "Russian Wife Success Package" in a few weeks putting together all my top-secret tips and techniques of how to meet the right woman for you - email us through Help Desk to be notified when it's available!
P.P.S. And please don't forget to send us your wedding photos!!!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Elena Petrova is the founder of RussiaUkraine.Dating and Russian Brides Cyber Guide (www.womenrussia.com). She is a former 'Russian mail order bride' with a degree in philosophy and a tongue-in-cheek view on the subject of international marriages. Her agency RussiaUkraina.Dating has clients in 176 countries and is bringing genuine love-seekers together since 1999.
Inga and I met on 4 July 2010 on your site. We were both serious about getting to know one another and found we were interested very quickly.
Inga and I put together a list of things that were important to us in a spouse of about 16 areas and spent a month going through and discussing these in emails and on skype.
We made the decision that I should visit Russia in August over my birthday (Aug 29), so I rushed to get my visa and tickets, and flew to Moscow for a wonderful week. We talked, went to the ballet, saw the circus, visited a variety of sites, had several romantic dinners, went shopping together, and had a great few days together. I have spent many years in Asia and the Middle East, so non-US societies are not intimidating or unusual for me and are both interesting and exciting to get to know. Moscow was very interesting, had a lot of beauty, and seemed to be full of energy and an entrepreneurial spirit I respect and appreciate. I also met and had dinner with Inga's children (who are in their 20s) and we found that "the like" we found getting to know one another by email and skype was blossoming into love.
Neither of us was interested in a prolonged long distance relationship, so before we left and for a couple of weeks after, we starting entertaining the idea of marriage while also planning another 2 weeks together in October in the US. The trip was being planned around my plans to attend my 35th class reunion. I graduated from the United States Air Force Academy (USAFA) in 1975. We expanded our plans to include visits with my parents, my oldest son and my daughter and grandchildren, my favorite Aunt and cousins, some good friends in Washington DC and the class reunion in Colorado Springs. In mid-September, we decided to get married and I proposed to Inga on skype. The next few weeks were filled with wedding planning and getting everything in order to be married at the USAFA Chapel (the number one tourist attraction to the State of Colorado. I connected with a wedding facilitator and minister while Inga and I continued to discuss what we wanted. As we proceeded, the wedding got more elaborate. I purchased rings, arranged for two former classmates who were also attending the reunion would stand with us, my god son is a 3rd year cadet, so he walked Inga down the aisle, and on October 7, we were married under the laws of the State of Colorado, USA. At the end of the two week whirl-wind trip, we were married but parted ways. Inga back to Moscow, me to Kuwait where I live and work.
We recently completed another two week trip to the US for the Thanksgiving holiday where my parents and two sons joined us at my parents house and Inga got to know the family and some of my friends better. Since we were married I arranged for a 6 month visa for Inga to join me in Kuwait and she arrives this coming Friday. Sometime in the next 6 months, we expect to move, probably to Dubai.
While the remaining chapters of our life remains to be written, and this story seems to have come about quickly, it just goes to show that two people from much different cultures who are committed to finding their love can do so. Inga and I are very suited temperamentally, physically, and spiritually. We are each committed to our marriage and we expect it to be for the rest of our lives.
I'm attaching two photos of the happy couple and thank Elenas for providing us the forum to meet and find what we expect to be much happiness.
David and Inga (USA)
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