GOOD RUSSIAN GIRLS - HOW TO SPOT ONE

by Elena Petrova (RussiaUkraina.Dating)

I have been asked many times since I first created the now famous (or infamous?) Black List, how to separate good Russian girls from bad ones. 

Naturally, being a man looking for a partner, you would want to meet a good Russian girl and avoid bad ones - and since you are here on RussiaUkraina.Dating, you are our client and we want you to find a good Russian girl (or woman), fall in love with her and send us your wedding photos - don't make a mistake, this is what we are working for, happy couples and glorious testimonials and word of mouth referrals, so that we can continue helping single people to meet in this big world!

So, please realize we are on your side - we want you to meet someone good and special to you.

The problem here is, in life not all people you meet will be good; it's just a fact of life. Some people you know and who live close to you may not be good people or they may be good people but they are not good to you. Some girls you meet when dating may be the same.

One of the catch phrases I get often is, "These women are just like American women!" - I do not know what this is supposed to mean; I am sure there are many good American women out there, it's just most of them are probably married or unavailable and this is why you are looking to broaden your search and maybe meet someone suitable in Russia or Ukraine.

But there is a grain of truth here: the world has became a much smaller place! We all watch the same movies and sitcoms, listen to the same music, and while you probably do not know Russian music and movies, they surely know yours! Fashion, hamburgers and Google are the same in Russia and the United States.

Back to the subject of good Russian girls: they are in high demand, just like good men are :-) When you join the site, there is plenty of competition for both. 

Whilst it's not "the quick or the dead", it surely holds some truth to it; most of our successful couples met each other pretty quickly once they joined the site. Is it luck or is it because they were both GOOD - and also good for each other?

I'll leave this one for you to think about in your spare time: to meet the right partner you must be the right partner. (I will come back to this at the end of this article.)

Now, let's move to the main subject of this article: how to spot a good Russian girl on this site.

I must make an emphasis here: I am only talking about RussiaUkraina.Dating because I know exactly how the site operates. I cannot talk for other Russian dating sites because they all work differently and on most of them, women have little or no control over what happens; they are totally under control of the agency; they cannot talk to you directly or share their mobile number or personal email or Skype and you only talk through the agency.

On RussiaUkraina.Dating, control is in your hands. It is only you and the women you are talking to who decide what you want to do. You write to each other directly without any mediators - translators or else, you can talk on the phone and Skype, exchange direct email addresses, decide how you meet and do whatever you want (as long as you are both consenting adults over 18 and it's not illegal!)

I am saying that because with the power comes responsibility. Since you are in control, it's up to you to pick good girls that are right for you. We are doing our best to ensure all our listings are legitimate and the women are real but we cannot get into people's heads: we cannot predict how they are going to behave in a relationship with you. 

You are in control and you have 50% input into what happens in your relationship. Without your contribution, nothing - good or bad - can happen!

My short definition of "good" and "bad" girl is this: a good Russian girl is the one who wants you for you, and the bad Russian girl is the one who wants you for what she can get from you.

There is nothing more to that.

And the truth is, a girl who is good to you may not have been good to all men in her life; sometimes we all are in a relationship (romantic, friendship, family, work or else) just for what we can get from it. 

Think about it, not all people are madly in love with their work - or the company they are working for - many are there just for money. Not all people love all of their family members - some are there just to keep peace of get benefits (you may think of some people like this). It's inevitable that where there is a relationship, some people will be in it for the sake of benefits and not for the sake of the relationship. Benefits can be financial, lifestyle, sexual, all types of benefits we get in life from being a part of something.

So, it's pretty normal when you are dating that there may be some women that just want to get benefits from you - you probably have come across things like this in your life before. It's just about not letting people take advantage of you - whether it's work, family or personal relationships.

For example, one pattern we hear often about is where a woman invites many men to visit her and then offers them to arrange their accommodation, transportation and translation and then she receives commission from the service providers.

This is why we created "Communication Safety Tips" and you have to tick the box you are aware of these every time you start communication with a new member (we have a similar set of tips for women as well), however, some men still don't follow those tips and then complain the woman they visited wasn't very interested but seemed to have been receiving commissions from service providers. 

Well, we won't say "We told you so!" but to make it simpler, here are some tell-tale signs that a woman is sincerely interested in you (as opposed to someone who is there for a potential benefit only).

GOOD RUSSIAN GIRLS TELL-TALE SIGNS:

• Good Russian girls will write very straightforward, interesting, individual and deep letters/emails.
• Good Russian girls will want to know about you and ask questions, some of them may surprise you!
• Good Russian girls won't write letters that are very sweet or repeat your name 20 times through the letter: Dear James this, Dear James that - Russian people do NOT write like this in Russian and she is thinking in Russian when writing to you, and then translating her Russian thoughts to English!
• Good Russian girls won't ask you to call them immediately instead of having some kind of conversation via email - most Russian women prefer writing to talking on the phone.
• Good Russian girls won't immediately invite you to visit them "because meeting is better than empty correspondence" - they have work and responsibilities and they don't invite all men to visit them; they are very selective in who they want to spend the rest of their lives with; if she wanted to get laid, she could do it at home without any problem (this part is easier for women than for men as you probably may be aware of).
• Good Russian girls remember what you were talking about in your emails or phone calls; they remember important dates of your life and send you greetings.
• If you ring a good Russian girl on the phone, she probably will know it's you without you telling her your name - because she knows she gave you her phone number and she expects your call, she doesn't give her number to hundreds of men!
• Usually you will be the one who starts talking about meeting - good Russian girls don't ask men out, it's totally against all feminine rules!
• If you decide to meet, she will not offer you to rent an apartment through her or "her friend".
• Good Russian girls spend TIME on you: they write individual emails, talk to you on the phone and chat for hours, send SMS etc, etc.
• A good Russian girl who is interested in YOU for YOU will be excited to hear from you and won't be bored. If she has to go, you will hear sincere sadness in her voice she cannot talk to you now but you can feel she would really want to.

Warning signs this may NOT be a good girl:

• She asks you to call on the phone instead of messaging through the site or exchanging direct email addresses.
• She wants to meet immediately without getting to really know you.
• She offers you to hire an interpreter, taxi or an apartment for your stay through her.
• Her letters are written in absolutely perfect English.
• Her letters are extremely sweet or mention your name more than 2-3 times through the letter.
• She doesn't answer your questions. (Please be careful with this one as if you are asking tons of questions, anyone can answer just the ones they want; I usually answer only half of my mom's questions because she drives me nuts! Love you Mom~)
• Her letters have nothing to do with what you are discussing in your letters; you do not have any meaningful discussions.

These signs are not cut in stone; always look for a pattern of behavior and not just an isolated sign. If there are a few warning signs, be honest, straightforward and direct; ask her what she thinks of you and how she feels; see if her words and her actions match. For example, she says she is very interested but she never has time for you? Actions don't match the words or there has to be a reason, why. For Russian and Ukrainian women family is their FIRST PRIORITY before their career; do you feel like finding the right man and making a meaningful connection is a priority for her? If she is after you just for you, you will feel it.

The best barometer of your relationship is your gut feeling: you don't need any proof when you KNOW it's real. If you have a nagging feeling that something's not right, then listen to your gut feeling.

I am sure you are not going to send money to a set of fake photos and letters; so, don't let yourself to be fooled by "apartment renters". If you are not prepared to put an effort in your relationship and talk deeply and closely to at least 3-4 women before you go and visit one or more of them, then you'd better don't get started.

It is REAL. The women are REAL. You need to build a REAL RELATIONSHIP and it needs work - but the result is worth it! 

Read again our Success Stories - some people wrote quite detailed accounts of how they started and built their relationships; it is for real but you must do your part, too - and one thing here is to pick good girls that want you for you and not just go with the flow with the ones that want you to take them to a dinner - and you are flying half way around the world for that!

We don't want you to do it and we don't want any chancers treat our site as feeding grounds; so, please, do your part and don't feed them!

I hope this gives you a better idea how to meet a good Russian girl that is right for you on our site.

With all my best wishes,
Elena

P.S. And about meeting the right partner, I am releasing a new "Russian Wife Success Package" in a few weeks putting together all my top-secret tips and techniques of how to meet the right woman for you - email us through Help Desk to be notified when it's available!

P.P.S. And please don't forget to send us your wedding photos!!!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Elena Petrova is the founder of RussiaUkraine.Dating and Russian Brides Cyber Guide (www.womenrussia.com). She is a former 'Russian mail order bride' with a degree in philosophy and a tongue-in-cheek view on the subject of international marriages. Her agency RussiaUkraina.Dating has clients in 176 countries and is bringing genuine love-seekers together since 1999.

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